Saying 'Yes'

My dear friend Dana floated in from the tip of Cape Cod to New York City for New Year’s Eve.  He stayed with his friends David and Michael in Brooklyn and invited Derek and I to their magical Fellini inspired party.  Attendees dressed in various looks from his films, from La Dolce Vita and it's sleek Italian suits to the circus inspired costumes from The Clowns as Fellini’s works of art were projected on walls throughout their home. 

            “Come with me Jase, I have something for you,” Dana said shortly after we arrived.  He brought us upstairs to his room then reached into his suitcase and pulled out a bag. 

            “Hold out your hand,” he said. 

            When I did, he filled it with diamonds. 

            A thrill of excitement rushed through me.  I had chosen La Dolce Vita, dressed in my best to start a new year, and a handful of diamonds was the perfect accessory.

            “I love it!” I exclaimed as the diamonds sparkled in the light. 

I put them in my pocket and we proceeded down the stairs for a glass of champagne.  It was special to feel chic and glamorous dressed up, drinking bubbly and walking around with a pocket full of diamonds, as apposed to the previous New Year’s when I welcomed 2013 in with the flu.  As Dana and I caught up he shared his new philosophy for 2014.

            “I’m going to be more conscious of saying ‘yes’ to whatever invitation or event, however big or small that comes my way,” he began. 

            “That sounds like a good perspective to take,” I replied. 

            “Yeah, I realized that you never know what direction your life will take by simply saying ‘yes’—new friends, new love, new knowledge.  I found myself saying ‘no’ many times this year because I was either tired, it was out of my comfort zone, or I wasn’t in a good place.”

It was advice that resonated with me.  I don’t know about you, but 2013 wasn’t a great year.  Nobody close to me died, but it seemed there was a constant stream of not-so-fun ‘things’ to deal with from month to month that didn’t let up.  There were some nice moments, of course but a few more would have been welcomed. 

Several close friends also shared with me that year thirteen of the 21^st century was also a struggle for them.  Perhaps there was something to the superstition of the number itself, and the thought crossed my mind at the start of the year, so perhaps I jinxed myself.  Or perhaps the Year of the Snake had many serpents slithering around causing havoc.   

            But with thirty-seven years lived, I realized they are not all going to be great.  That’s life, and I’ve experienced and survived worse.  So in the bigger picture I knew, eventually, things would change.  Regardless, I was ready for 2013 to end and 2014 to begin. 

I set positive intentions and reaffirmed a dedication to moving forward with writing.  After a bit of post-partum depression from giving birth to my first book, Amsterdam Angel, and feeling overwhelmed with what to do with it, I committed to continue to simply try, number one. 

After the conventional dreams of bestsellers and movie deals or simply a new direction in life were acknowledged, validated and released to the universe, I focused on the core ‘why’ I chose writing and sharing my story in the first place:  To Help People. 

With the launch of Amsterdam Angel in 2012 combined as a charity event for the gay homeless shelter in New York City set as the example, I decided to follow suit with other book parties in various cities throughout 2013.  The hundreds of books still underneath my bed were paid for by the generosity of you all with the initial Indiegogo crowd funding campaign.  So it felt natural to pay it forward by turning your money funding my dream into more money for those less fortunate.  Then the 'why'--To Help People--was multiplied. 

When an opportunity presented itself soon after the New Year to push forward with working on Book 2 and promoting Book 1, I debated whether it was the right time with everything else going on in life.  But I wanted to be someone who actually did what they talked of doing.  Plus, I felt it was time for Amsterdam Angel to make its European debut, and naturally in the title city.  As I’ve learned, I write best in Europe, when I’m able to leave life in America behind for a moment to fully concentrate.  So off to Amsterdam it seemed I was headed.

It was very last minute, but I put it out to friends in Amsterdam that I was hoping to pull a party together and needed a local charity.   When a lovely soul named Gilbertto responded with his friend’s foundation that helped orphaned children with HIV and AIDS in South Africa, I instantly knew it was the right one.  It connected me back to the country that I was fortunate to call home for a time (Book 3;). 

But when the reality manifested to the next level with a friend request on Facebook from Gilbertto’s friend Wil, the man who ran the Willen en Doen Foundation, I hesitated whether I could commit, mostly out of fear that it would work.  Then, I remembered Dana’s advice, said ‘yes’ and jumped through the window over the Atlantic.  I stopped thinking ‘how’ it would happen, and rather, with a little faith, tried to simply trust everything would work out.  After rolling and rolling from my dive through the window I stopped at my friend Art’s door, and my door as he has always instilled it in me that it is also my home in Amsterdam. 

Jet-lagged and still surprised I made the decision there was no time to waste.  I met with Wil the first night at a bar and we both realized what little time there was to pull something together.  Along with Wil’s already busy schedule doubt creped in my mind, but hope filled my heart. 

“You’re here though,” Wil concluded. 

“Yes, I’m here,” I replied positively hoping he was on board to help.  Wil smiled.

“So let’s try.  I believe we can do this,” he replied.

The next day I settled in and wrapped my mind around the coming week.  I viewed Willen en Doen’s website which contained a video of Wil’s work in South Africa with the orphans. 

When I saw the actual children my heart melted and I felt like I was glowing as the dots were connected from childhood to the present.  Everything made sense.  Perhaps similarly to all the parents out there when their children are born.  I don’t have children but felt as if I found some. 

Since I was a child I had heard of the children of Africa.  My mother instructed me to finish the supper that I was lucky to eat.

“There are children starving in Africa,” she would add. 

When I was fortunate enough to live in South Africa, I met some of the children.  I couldn’t keep my lens away from them as I snapped their picture like paparazzi.  They were so beautiful to me. 

Throughout my travels in other countries foreigners shared how they looked with awe to Hollywood, America and the celebrities from far, far away.  Suddenly after watching Wil’s video I realized the children of Africa were the real stars to me from far, far away.  I was instantly hooked and any worries or stress of pulling a party together washed away every time I remembered: It’s for the children.

When Wil and I met on a rainy January afternoon the next day to search for a venue it was touch and go as the bookstore we approached first was a dead end.  Next we went to Getto, a restaurant and bar where Wil knew the owner.  We arrived before it was open but luckily, right before we left a cook came in to prepare for the night and we explained what we were trying to do.  He didn’t see why it couldn’t work but instructed us to come back the next day and talk with the owner over dinner. 

As we walked the street the rain continued and the temperature dropped with the darkness of evening while the nerves increased.  I could sense we both wondered how feasible a task we took on but refused to speak aloud to each other potential doubts.  Then, I remembered.

“It has to work out.  It’s for the children,” I exclaimed to Wil with light from inside warming from the cold.  It ignited the fire in his eyes, as he is living his dream with his foundation and understood ultimately it was, all for the children. 

Wil let out a laugh and smiled at the American stranger that dropped into his life so recently. 

 “Yes, for the children.  It will come together.” 

The next day we tried another venue before returning to Getto, just in case, but it was alas, too short notice.  When we finally sat down with John at Getto, we were delighted when he, like Dana and myself, said ‘yes’ to one of life’s invitations.
With the venue, date and time arranged the invites went out on Facebook the next night.  I spent the week leading up to the event fueled with excitement and channeled it into writing.  I was ecstatic with the progress and completed everything except the last chapter.  I felt confident Book 2 was on track to debut in 2014 and by the time Derek flew in from New York the day before the party I was free to concentrate on quality time with my partner.  I was eager to share the city that inspired a series of books.  We relaxed with an afternoon cruise along the canals mixed in with Derek's own private tour--by the author himself--of some of the places in the book.    

The next day we eased into the day at home before leaving for Getto.  The party was a success in many ways; old friends from different lives were reunited, new friends were made, and money was raised for the children as Amsterdam Angel made its European debut.  Nothing beat starting a new year working on dreams and doing a little charity.  So the next time an opportunity presents itself, consider saying ‘yes’, as you may never know what an adrenaline filled adventure it may take you on with new people to meet.  

Thank you Dana. 

And no, the diamonds weren’t real for those of you still wondering.  But it didn’t diminish the excitement of something glittering in my pocket kindling the power of imagination.  

If you’d like to check out Wil’s organization or make a donation visit his site for more information:
www.willenendoen.org
Wishing you all a very sparkling 2014!
xxx,

Jason